Hasenfeffer
by supernaturalsam
Summary: Sam, Dean, and a rabbit...nothing could possibly go wrong...right? ONE-SHOT...COMPLETE!


**Here's a little Easter treat for everyone at the request of one of my dear friends who's feeling a bit under the weather. This one's for you, Renu! Hope you enjoy it, chick!**

**This takes place in the second season sometime after "Everybody Loves A Clown." I hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you think!**

**Many thanks to Bayre for the beta!**

**Oh, and I own nothing except my twisted thoughts…**

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

"Sam, no."

"Dean, we can't just leave it here."

"Dude, no way in hell am I letting you bring that furball in my car."

"Dean, if we leave it here, it will die."

"No, Sam."

"Come on, Dean…" Sam gave him the patented Sam Winchester puppy eyes and Dean nearly came unglued right then and there. "Please…"

Dean closed his eyes as he silently came up with ways to maim, if not kill, his little brother. How dare Sam shoot that low; Dean cursed himself for ever letting Sam see he could get his way like that. He never should have fallen for it when Sam was younger because now the kid knew how to get his way every single time.

In the back of his mind, Dean knew he was going to regret this decision. It just screamed _bad idea_ and yet Dean knew he wasn't going to listen to that little voice in his head telling him to turn around and walk away. He was going to give in, dammit, and if that right there didn't make him feel like the world's biggest pushover.

"Fine," Dean said through gritted teeth, paying no mind when Sam flashed him a brilliant smile. "But I swear to anything and everything holy, if Cadbury so much as thinks about taking a crap in my car, I will make you eat it. Understand?"

Sam scooped the white rabbit up in his arms and held it close to his chest. "You're not serious."

Dean turned his head to glare at his brother. "You honestly want to try me on that?"

Sam seemed to think about that before timidly shaking his head. "No—you're serious."

"You're damn right I am." Dean started towards the door, wanting to put as much distance between himself and Sam and his new friend. "Now, come on and let's get out of here before the neighbors decide to raise a stink."

The brothers were in Lovelady, Texas, a small town a couple hours north of Houston, investigating a rash of deaths, which basically left pretty much nothing of the victim. So far the victim count had reached lucky number seven and they were no closer to finding an answer than they were two days ago. It seemed no matter how fast they found the next victim, it was already too late. They were left dead in their homes with no sign of a perpetrator.

Dean honestly didn't know what to think about it and it was pretty bad when Sam couldn't come up with an answer, either. They figured what they were dealing with was a cannibal of some kind, considering how it left its victims splayed out but the problem was that there were so many creatures out there that enjoyed eating humans.

Again, not much to really go on. And now add a rabbit to the mix—one Dean knew they couldn't take care of but just didn't have the heart to tell Sam no. Dean figured it didn't help that Easter was tomorrow, so if the rabbit would give the kid some kind of holiday cheer, then he figured it was worth it. It wasn't like they did the entire Easter tradition as they were growing up—no dying eggs, no Easter egg hunts, no glorified baskets brimming over with chocolates and other sweets. So if this is what Sam needed to feel a little normal, then Dean would grudgingly go along with it.

It didn't mean he had to like it.

Because he didn't.

Not even a little.

The truth of the matter was Dean Winchester didn't like rabbits. He wouldn't go so far to say he had a phobia of them but they ranked right up there with rats in his book. They were nothing but extremely fluffy rats—enough said.

"I think he's cute," Sam said as he looked in the backseat at the rabbit as Dean steered the Impala towards their motel room.

"Don't you even think about getting attached to that thing, Sammy. I said you could bring it with us but we're sure as hell not about to keep it. We'll find someone at the motel who can take care of it."

"We don't have to get rid of it today."

"No, but it's staying in its damn cage the entire time. I'm not going to wake up in the middle of the night and have that thing jump out at me."

"Don't tell me you're scared of a harmless little rabbit."

"I never said I was scared."

"Then why don't you like them?"

"Because I don't."

"It's because of what happened to you when you were four, isn't it?"

Dean shot an annoyed look at his brother. "What are you talking about?"

"You didn't think I knew about that, did you?" Sam laughed. "Dad told me all about it. He told me how you couldn't even get five feet in front of the Easter Bunny before you busted out crying."

"I was four, Sam!"

"You know, I don't think it's fair to exude your fear on rabbits just because some sweaty guy in a rabbit costume scared the crap out of you when you were a kid."

Dean pulled into the parking lot and looked over at Sam as he shoved the car into "park." "Dude, do I give you a hard time like this about clowns?"

"Yes!"

"Well, that's different."

"How?"

"Being afraid of a clown is stupid and irrational."

"And being afraid of rabbits isn't? Clowns kill, Dean, or did you forget about that?"

"That was a demon, Sam."

"Same difference." 

Dean got out of the car without another glance at Sam and went into the motel room. Why was it they always had to have such childish arguments especially when they had bigger things to worry about, namely the thing that was eating the fine citizens of Lovelady. He barely glanced behind him as Sam entered the room and set the cage on the table.

What he did glance up at was when the rabbit was shoved in his face.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean yelled, jumping back away from Sam and the furry beast.

"Come on, Dean—just hold it."

"Sam, keep Cadbury away from me unless you want him made into rabbit stew."

"He's not going to hurt you. And why do you keep calling him Cadbury?"

"No, but I will hurt you if you don't stay away from me with him. And I'm hoping if I call him that enough times, he'll finally hatch one of those crème-filled eggs out of his ass."

Sam rolled his eyes as he held the rabbit up. "That's just a commercial, Dean."

"That's false advertisement," Dean grumbled. "It would be the only good thing the damn rabbit is great for. Now, put him away and let's see if we can figure out what the hell is going on here."

"Fine." With one more final rub, Sam put the rabbit back into its cage and headed to his laptop, sitting open on his bed. "I'm still not exactly sure what we're supposed to be looking for."

Dean shrugged as he put a pot of coffee on. "Well, there has to be something. I mean, we know it's not an animal attack—there would have been evidence left all over the place. The homes were left too clean."

"Dean, there was blood all over the place."

"Well, it's cleaner than what it should have been."

Sam frowned as he pushed the laptop away and picked up a folder with crime scene photos. "Maybe there's something linking the victims together."

"Like what?"

"I don't know…" Sam's voice trailed off as he flipped through the pictures. "It could be something completely innocuous. Or it could be something…oh, crap."

"What?"

Sam didn't answer; he only kept staring at the photos.

"Sam? What's 'oh crap'?"

Sam looked up at him at about the same time the rabbit's cage started to rattle. "Now, Dean, you've got to promise me you're not going to say 'I told you so'."

"What are you talking about, Sam?"

Sam handed the pictures over to Dean as the cage started to shake more violently. 

Dean frowned as he flipped through the pictures. "Sam, what the hell am I looking for?"

"What's the one thing you notice in every single one of those pictures?"

Dean's eyes narrowed as he took in each picture slowly. Finally he looked up at Sam when there was a loud screech, followed by a bright burst of light. Both brothers covered their eyes as the rabbit leapt out of its cage, transforming into something that was supposed to resemble a man.

"Sam, what the hell? I swear this is the last time I let you bring a damn animal home!"

"I didn't know it was going to do this!"

"Aren't you supposed to be psychic or something?"

"Dean, I don't see where yelling at me is helping anything!" Sam griped at the same time the being leapt at him, mouth wide open.

"Sammy!'

Dean reached for his .45 tucked into his waistband and aimed, trying to get a clear shot at the thing. The only problem with that was the fact they both kept struggling—the thing trying to take a chunk out of Sam and Sam trying to keep the thing from taking a chunk out of him. Sam finally was able to glance up quick enough to see what Dean's intentions were.

"Dude, the gun's not going to work!"

"How the hell do you know that?" Dean asked, still trying to find a way to get a decent shot off.

"Because I know what we're dealing with." Sam grunted with pain as the thing landed a solid punch against his jaw. "It's a dodo—a West African cannibalistic spirit!"

"A what?" Dean tried to pull the thing off his brother, but it only pushed Dean away with enough force to throw him into the opposite wall.

"Dean, are you okay?"

Dean grunted as his head pounded from the collision. "It's just a flesh wound."

"Can you save the Monty Python for later, Dean?" Sam hissed in pain as one of the claws dug into his chest.

"Then tell me how to kill Bunnicula before he makes an all-you-can-eat buffet out of you!" Dean yelled as he pulled himself up from the floor.

"You have to…Gah!" Sam yelled as another claw tore into his flesh. "You have to chop off its foot!"

Dean frowned. "Seriously?"

"Dude, now's really not the time to be arguing with me about this. Just get the damn axe and cut off his damn foot!"

Sam's cry of pain was all the motivation Dean needed as he raced out the door, the Impala keys in hand. He darted around to the trunk and rummaged around for a few seconds, cursing his lack of organizational skills as he tried to find the axe. Finally gripping it, he slammed the trunk closed and ran back into the room just as the dodo was about to sink its teeth into Sam's shoulder.

"Hey, Cadbury! I got something for you!"

Sam pulled himself in just as Dean brought the axe down on the dodo's foot. The spirit screamed in pain as the foot was severed from its body. For a second, Dean didn't think it worked as it turned its head to glare at him, but then it all of a sudden transformed back into a rabbit, landing on Sam's chest. Dean tried to stifle his laughter as Sam threw the rabbit off of him in a panic.

The rabbit merely looked at the brothers, its nose twitching before disappearing in a brilliant flame. The only thing that remained of it was the severed foot, now a rabbit's foot.

"Well, that was different," Dean commented, raising his brows in surprise. "Guess that's how a rabbit's foot is made." Throwing the axe on the floor, he reached a hand down towards Sam and carefully pulled him to his feet. "You okay."

"It's just a flesh wound."

"Who's channeling Monty now?"

"Bite me."

"I think Cadbury just did that." Dean smiled at Sam's glare. "You know, I hate to say it—"

"Then don't."

"—I told you so."

"Are you finished?"

"See, that right there is why we never bring a pet home, Sammy. They always turn evil."

"Whatever." Sam tenderly touched the wounds across his chest. "At least I'm not scared of Peter Cottontail."

"Dude, am I the only one who saw you curve ball that rabbit?"

"Shut up."

"I'm telling you, it got some distance."

"Dean!"

"_Here comes Peter Cottontail…Hopping down the bunny trail…"_

END


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